Tea, Fire and Boredom

Balance

Despite 13 years of Tae Kwon Do, I took up Aikido last fall as a martial art to study. The philosophical basis of Aikido stems from the idea that strength comes not from muscle, but from balance. The key to any takedown is to first assure the opponent is off balance. Actually, the key to any takedown is to first make sure that you have your own balance. I have heard the advice “take their balance” so many times that I now find myself waking up in the wee hours of the morning repeating that phrase. A person is quite easy to throw when she is off balance. Think of friction. A frictional resistance is proportional not only to a body’s weight, but its coefficient of friction. If that number is small, then even a large object is relatively easy to move. I think of taking balance as reducing the mu. No wonder Aikido attracts so many physicists.

Like any worthwhile martial art, the moves of Aikido mean more than the physical motions. I sometimes think of Aikido as a metaphor for myinteractions with people daily. There is no battle, but non-violent resolution. Do not fight or struggle. If you decide move, then your opponent has already lost. It’s too late. I start by staying in balance and looking at the balance of otherse. If some rambling fool wishes to bother me with their reckless prose, I hope to be able to see where he is weakest and exploit that at minimal effort to myself. When I consider how I want to be, I want to be balanced.  A balance inevitably evokes the metaphor of a scale or measurement tool. Perhaps the symbol of justice? Of trade? Of rule of law? I don’t see those things in my life. I see it as standing balanced, a natural stance. How does a person live balanced? Literally speaking, one could keep 1 jar of peanut butter, 1 jar of jelly. She could keep 1 unicycle, 1 bicycle, 1 tricycle. No, no, no.

To be balanced is to see every action, every person, every event, every idea in the context of our entire life. It is so that one aspect of our life does not grow fat while others atrophy. It is to keep each facet of ourselves with equal shine. I believe the mantra that we are most strong when we are balanced and relaxed.  When I watch masters at any endeavor, perhaps a master musician or a math prodigy, they  do not strain, or jitter or rock back and forth. They are calm and in control, as if their task was as natural as waking up in the morning. To make an action natural, smooth and relaxed is to find balance in your calling and your life. A balanced life calls upon this natural strength, stronger than sinew or steel. What better ally than Gaea herself to have on your side.

I cannot sympathize with my peers who live in the mountains and canyons of life. Each day brings a new tragedy, a new thrill, a novelty to scream over or a passion to laugh on. It is but daily hit. Though the drug of choice is not weed or coke, but of gossip and chatter and mindless banter. In such a case, each day is a battle, not a source of renewal. I see Dox Quiote fighting the windmills, not spirits finding themselves. How much breath have I heard wasated over a bad score on a problem set amount or angry talk over a judge’s bad call? If my life turns on such a detail, it is not worth living. My soul is not bettered by talk of the weather or gossip in the hallway. And after a cute joke, I only find that my heart is more empty and alone than when it began.

I try to see what does not matter. One could argue that I may be missing out on an aspect of life. Many people, books and ideas glorify living for the moment, for living the empassioned recklessness of youth.  They long for the ability to do what they want, when they want, how they want. Perhaps it is because they are so restrained on a normal day. And I agree I am missing out on a part of life. I have one life to live, and cannot live 1,000 lives in that lifetime. My only job is to make my life as best as possible. I reject a life of the surface, the life of aggression, the life of chatter and distractions and seek a life of balance. I want to go to my bed each evening that I have saw something truly beautiful today. I want to feel each day that I have been renewed.

Many people I know say many words, but speak little. I know many people who see many objects, but do not really view the world. The daily trudge to class is but a sleepwalker dressed in different garb. The world is filled with sleepwalkers. In each fleeting moment of the day, there are infinite colors, shapes and sizes to see the world. With each second, there lies an world of different meanings in different combinations and comparisons. For you see more when you know to look for more. The more you look, the more you see. I look at my desk at this moment. I see a laptop. But look closer, I see discarded pens and pencils worn dull. I look closer; I see scrap a paper, a note to a forgetful mind. I look closer; I see a specks of dust and hair from hours of writing, reading and idling. I look closer; I see a dull shade of gray. Or perhaps green. Small valleys and canyons run almost invisibly along the grain. In each crevice, a Grand Canyon. Mount Everest lies right below my elbows and in front of my eyes. No need to go to Asia to scale a mountain. How sad it would be to be alive and not see such things. To live as a blinded horse, eating from a bag and literally walking in circles. How sad it would be to miss the infinite opportunity that lies in each second that flows through us.